so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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