You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Ladies don't puke and tell
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
