Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
