He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
