I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize