ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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