woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
