i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
