somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
