every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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