White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
not ubering you a puppy
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
