i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
