I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
