R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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