that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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