1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize