I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
