So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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