she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Still dying that you shit outside
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
