Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
