Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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