didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Randomize
