I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
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