Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
