Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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