wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
