she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
