How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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