He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
