well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
