Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
