I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Randomize
