I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
only you would photoshop your dick
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
