where am i from again
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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