Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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