careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
