YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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