she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Randomize
