I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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