PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
