A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize