In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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