Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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