Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Randomize
