I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
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