no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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