I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
