she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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