First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
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