I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Randomize
