No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
