oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
