What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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