Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
