I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
