well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
