The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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