Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
