This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
