I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
