I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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