"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
